LA is a monster. No seriously – Hollywood’s home is massive – even from the air, where its concrete streets and square forms assume an outlandish, almost dystopian form.

On street level, you’ll find many potential X Factor fails who’ve never quite made it into Hollywood’s hallmarks but get by busking at tourist traps such a The Santa Monica Pier at the end of Route 66.

You’ll also find a smattering of celebs here and there, cruising its boulevards in their fancy wheels, oblivious to the reality of life in The Sin City of the West Coast. And then there’s Inglewood…

LA is not for me I must contend (less so after being detained by the immigration authorities who asked me all sorts of irrelevant questions despite my pre-approved ESTA application and valid travel documents).

Every cloud has a silver lining though – thanks to my good pal Paul, who showed us the best of LA in his purring Mustang, I must also admit that I had a great time cruising through the throbbing metropolis.

Here’s how it all went down on our visit to Los Angeles: